4.

[Hexed Private.]
According to his legend, Sebastian was born at Narbonne, Gaul. He became a soldier in the Roman army at Rome in about 283, and encouraged Marcellian and Marcus, under sentence of death, to remain firm in their faith. Sebastian made numerous converts: among them were the master of the rolls, Nicostratus, who was in charge of prisoners and his wife, Zoe, a deaf mute whom he cured; the jailer Claudius; Chromatius, Prefect of Rome, whom he cured of gout; and Chromatius' son, Tiburtius. Chromatius set the prisoners free, freed his slaves, and resigned as prefect.

Sebastian was named captain in the praetorian guards by Emperor Diocletian, as did Emperor Maximian when Diocletian went to the East. Neither knew that Sebastian was a Christian. When it was discovered during Maximian's persecution of the Christians that Sebastian was indeed a Christian, he was ordered executed. He was shot with arrows and left for dead, but when the widow of St. Castulus went to recover his body, she found he was still alive and nursed him back to health. Soon after, Sebastian intercepted the Emperor, denounced him for his cruelty to Christians, and was beaten to death on the Emperor's orders.

Patronage: archers; armourers; arrowsmiths; athletes; diocese of Bacolod, Philippines; bookbinders; Bracciano, Italy; Castel Gandolfo, Italy; diseased cattle; dying people; enemies of religion; fletchers; gardeners; gunsmiths; Huelva, Spain; Hünxe, Germany; iron mongers; lacemakers; laceworkers; lead workers; masons; plague; police; Pontifical Swiss Guards; Qormi, Malta; racquet makers; Rio de Janeiro, Brazil; Rocca Priora, Italy; San Sebastian, Puerto Rico; soldiers; Spanish police officers; stone masons; stonecutters; diocese of Tarlac, Philippines

Athletes, enemies of religion -- check and check. And the fact that he's the unofficial patron saint of gay men just makes him even more my patron saint -- I guess I should be praying to something, even if it isn't out there to bother with being prayed to -- it just, well. It's just at best mildly ridiculous -- first Anthony kisses me after we get done talking about Malfoy, which is rather a time when I'd think that he wouldn't want to kiss me, being that he wants to talk to the pointy prat, and then Michael decides that he up and fancies me too. And Anthony's never been explicitly gay or straight, but Michael fancies girls, which he himself admits to -- just wait, next thing I know, I'm going to have Neville and Ron turning away from birds and running for me instead. Every girl in the entire bloody UK is going to be out for my blood because I'll inadvertently turn all of their boyfriends queer, like I bloody want to make every straight man in Britain reconsider where he stands, sexually speaking -- I definitely don't want the absolute version of that, being that "every straight man" no doubt includes such attractive specimens as Marcus Flint, and I don't even want the less absolute version that includes such wonderful personalities as, one, Draco Malfoy, one, Lucius Malfoy, and one, Gabriel Harper, even if he's busy inflicting himself on Rivers, who, frankly, deserves it.

I mean, of course, it's brilliant to finally be fancied by someone who happens to be my own bloody age, but... they're my best mates! It's even natural to end up fancying them or being fancied by them, and it's not that I'm opposed to doing anything with them, but... they're my best mates, and it's just awkward, and what would happen if we ever fell out of infatuation with each other? What would happen if one of us got the other irreparably hacked off? It'd just turn into a big, bloody mess, and it wouldn't be at all good, and would it really be worth whatever happiness we got out of being together for however long we managed it?

I somehow doubt it.

[/Private]



[Hexed to Sal]
Sal, love. Anthony and Michael have completely lost their minds and I'm afraid that they might be trying to take mine with them. You're still sane, right?

[/Sal]


[Hexed to Order Members & Number 12 Residents, except Anthony and Michael.]
So, let's suppose, entirely hypothetically, that someone has just found himself in a bit of a compromising relationship situation with two of his best mates, wherein both of them appear to be fancying him. He has a history of swinging that way and it's brought him a right world of fun when coming into certain conflicts with certain people, take for example his Roman Catholic parents. Inasmuch as he knows, neither of them have any history whatsoever of even looking at other blokes in that way, let alone outright fancying them, and distinctly not kissing them. And while this entirely hypothetical bloke is not entirely opposed to Things Happening with his best mates, he's honestly quite terrified of the potential repercussions of entertaining said Things and his matching desire that they Happen, especially if anything bad were to happen that would mean losing his best mates.

Oh, and one of these best mates, who are still entirely hypothetical, has a habit of being a bit too friendly with Dark-aligned pointy prats and, on top of this, has rather been avoiding the entirely hypothetical bloke for about a little over a week, following their discussion of his bad habit of being a bit too friendly with Dark-aligned pointy prats.

What should said entirely hypothetical bloke do?

[/Hex]